20 Jun The Fire of The Four Agreements
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. ~ Marianne Williamson
In honor of Summer Solstice on June 21st, let’s play with fire!
Imagine that within you is a fire, and that this fire represents your energy, creativity, passion, and sparkle. The brighter you allow your fire to burn the more happiness, freedom, and presence you have.
Are there any ways in your life that you diminish your inner fire? Or tone down your brilliance to fit in? Or play less than fabulous?
As Marianne writes in Return to Love, the more you shine, the more you give other people permission to shine as well. And the Four Agreements help us to brightly polish our inner shine so we can be bright in the world.
First, let’s explore how we dim our sass and deplete our energy. Notice how the following actions smother your inner fire:
– Negative self talk
– Making someone else’s actions about you
– Assuming worst case scenarios
– Keeping busy without awareness
When we harness the power of the Four Agreements we can come into right relationship with our creative and joyful fire. Here are ways to fan the flames and feed the fire of your enthusiasm and unique expression.
Be impeccable with your word: Start a new relationship with yourself and cultivate the fiery language of love in your self-talk. When you wake up in the morning say, “good morning, sweetheart, how are you?” As you move through the day talk to yourself internally as you would talk to a beloved. It may feel awkward at first, but keep feeding the fire of your heart with the fuel of positive words.
Don’t take anything personally: Give yourself permission to be fabulous, quirky, and curious, and give others the same permission. When you notice the it-is-all-about-me monster raising its head — putting out the fire of your confidence and causing you to doubt your choices — take a big breath. Reclaim your freedom by saying “They get to choose their actions, I get to choose my reaction.” Put your attention on nourishing your spark with love rather than defending your position.
Don’t make assumptions: Every assumption you make stomps on the fire of possibility. Create more space for the heat of transformation by asking yourself sweetly, “is this an assumption?” When you notice you made an assumption in the past that is affecting your present, forgive yourself and readjust. What new choice can you make based on your bigger perspective?
Do your best: Set aside time each day to clear out or take action on one little thing that you have been avoiding. If it is a big project take the next little action; don’t put your fire out by looking at the huge mountain ahead of you, focus on the next three steps. Steadily stoke the flames of action by making things fun or being creative in how you move things forward, one step at a time.
And this summer, do something outside that lights up your child self. Play on the swings, go hear live music and dance, let yourself explore the outdoors without an agenda. You are meant to shine, so keep connecting to the fire of your creative and curious wild nature, and ENJOY!
Heather Ash’s apprenticeship with don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, began in 1994, and she now teaches with the Ruiz family. She is the author of The Toltec Path of Transformation and founder of Toci, The Toltec Center of Creative Intent. www.toci.org